Siapakah Aku?

Saya baru saja selesai membaca buku karya Sophie Navita yang berjudul Hati yang Gembira Adalah Obat. Ada satu bab yang sangat menarik hati saya, yaitu bab "Siapakah Aku?". Disitu Mba Sophie bukan meminta kita untuk menjabarkan apa pekerjaan kita, siapa suami dan anak kita, anak dari siapakah kita, melainkan Ia meminta kita menjawab siapakah diri kita seutuhnya tanpa campur tangan orang lain. Okay, let me do my best to describe my true self.

Nama saya Anggi Miranda Tanjung, usia saya 24 tahun. Saya baru saja menjabat profesi sebagai seorang dokter dan istri :p

First of all, Saya adalah hamba Tuhan. Saya sadar saya bukanlah apa-apa tanpa kehadiran-Nya. Saya menjatuhkan semua doa dan nasib saya kepada-Nya dan saya sedang mencoba belajar ikhlas atas segala keputusan Tuhan terhadap saya. After all, God knows best.

Saya adalah seseorang yang sebenarnya sangat mudah bahagia akan hal-hal kecil. Namun, entah kenapa saya sulit bersyukur. Saya masih suka membandingkan kebahagiaan saya dengan orang lain di atas saya. Saya juga memiliki sifat khawatir berlebihan. Saya bahkan memikirkan hal yang tidak terjadi dan saya sadar sifat itu membuat perasaan saya jadi tidak enak. Sifat buruk ini sedang saya coba hilangkan perlahan-lahan, karena ternyata sulit juga.

Saya mudah berbaur dengan orang-orang. Namun, saya suka merasa lelah setelahnya dan tidak sabar ingin pulang ke rumah, menyendiri di kamar. Jadi, saya termasuk orang yang introvert atau extrovert ya? Hehe..

Masih banyak sifat, kepribadian, dan kebiasaan saya yang belum saya jabarkan karena sedang tidak terpikir saat ini :p Setelah menjabarkan sedikit paragraf tentang diri saya, sejujurnya saya merasa lega. Maybe next time I'll do part two of my confession..

Three Years of Learning

Today's post is specially dedicated to my 3-years-relationship with my partner. I don't really fond of the nick 'boyfriend', because to me (and Oxford Dictionaries :p), boyfriend is a companion of love and romantic stuff, otherwise partner is a companion who takes part in my life; part of every aspects of my life that I willingly share to my partner. Okay, enough with the nickname!

I want to share a bit about our relationship that thankfully can last this long without ever breaking up. Ours is not perfect. Just like other relationships. Ours has challenges and problems. But we manage to face that challenges by the act of two. Yes, the act of me and my partner. My partner is an introvert kind of man. He doesn't talk so much and I think it's a little bit hard for him to make a sentence that represents his feelings. I am; is the other way around. I always talk my mind and heart out to him. What I want and don't want, what I like and dislike, etc. We try to find out the solution of the problem that is best for both of us (that act of two). It wasn't rare that we didn't solve the problem in a day. That was the time we need to think deeply and put a day or two to think and find the solution.

In the first year, I felt a lot going on. It was the time of adapting to my partner. The second year was still an adapting moment. In this third year? indeed it is still an adapting moment for us both. Adaptation is a process. Process is a step to achieve a particular goal. Have we achieved a particular goal? In a few things, yes we have. We have achieved the best way to communicate for both of us. We have achieved to see some of our similar perspectives to live. But, the unachieved goals are still waiting for us. That's why we're partnering to adapt. To achieve our particular goals.

We also goof a lot. People often see us as silly and joking couple. Indeed we are :p But, I believe every couple has the serious part of them. We have it too.. And once we do, we take it very seriously.

So, based on those words above, I conclude the keys for our relationship: communication and patience. I know every couple has different keys for their relationship. Will my partner and I find other keys? Might be.. Since we're only three years, there are must be a lot of things ahead of us.

And the most important thing is, I always feel secure to be with my partner (I've never even said it to him directly). I used to be an insecure one. I was afraid that my partner would cheating on me. But now, I realized that mindset was shaped because I had been cheated on a long time ago (to my ex-boyfriend). My recent partner makes me feel so safe and secure. As if he assures me that he will not hurt me and I believe in him. I know I can't be 100% sure because I am just a human, I don't know what future might bring us. But, I don't know.. I just have a strong feeling that my partner will not hurt me in any way. I believe he is a gentleman.

Here's to our disgusting hair :'D

Living in the virtual squares

As we all know in today's world, social media is like our "main" life, first thing first when we wake up everyday. I personally love Instagram the most, because I love seeing beautiful photos, people, stuff, scenery, etc. What's been running around my mind is, "why do I often feel overwhelmed or sometimes exhausted after scrolling over Instagram?" I am not being hypocrite, I often feel like those who are so pretty and so cool-captured people make me feel less. Less fortunate, less money, less pretty, even less happy! And I know that is dangerous. My boyfriend always warns me that people on Instagram are just showing their happy and perfect moments, it is impossible for them to post the ordinary or bad moments, so we cannot conclude whether they're having a happy life or not just based on their posts. I agree.

That eye-opener statement makes me realize that I should change my point of view and mindset about Instagram's posts. Now, I'm posting something to my account that is a real me, something that I really find fascinating, something that I want to share to inspire, not to impress. I'd post something like my happy moments (hanging out with my loved ones, going somewhere beautiful), my personal favorite stuff (inspiring books, make up I really love, delicious food), and everything I find it REAL. I don't want to post something that is not the same like the reality. For example, I don't want to post a happy face photo with a happy caption whether in that real moment I don't feel like it, or posting a yummy-looking food when it's actually not. I also follow people with values and inspirational living. People that make me happy and positive instead of making me feel less.

This post is also connect with living in the moment topic. If you are talking or hanging out with others, I suggest don't use or multi-task with your cellphone. I try to make this as a habit. I don't often see my phone when I talk to others because I don't want to miss the moment. You still can see your cell later at home when you are alone. I mean, don't make your REAL life abandoned by social media on your phone. Don't waste your REAL social life with the VIRTUAL social life. Living in the moment is one of my life-goals.

And also, ones who look happy and perfect on Instagram, are people just like us. They have problems, they don't have a perfect life. Just like us.

Sums up my mind :) Picture from Pinterest.

Gw udah punya banyak, kok

Sebagai perempuan, wajar banget ga sih kalo punya hobi belanja? dan wajar banget ga sih kalo selalu merasa kurang? Ayo tunjuk tangan.. Hehe. Saya pun juga merasa seperti itu kok. Belanja memang bikin seneng secara instan, kita tinggal ke mall atau liat-liat online shop, pilih, dan bayar. Abis itu feeling happy instantly! Tapi, sering ga sih merasa menyesal abis beli sesuatu? Mungkin penyesalan itu ga akan dateng segera setelah barang itu dibeli, biasanya penyesalan akan muncul pas udah beberapa minggu atau bulan barang itu cuma ditaruh di rak berantakan dan ga sering-sering banget dipake, atau bahkan sering juga ada yang lupa pernah beli barang tersebut hahaha.. Nah, Saya sebagai manusia yang belum berpenghasilan (hanya mengandalkan penghasilan dari orang tua.. huhu), jadi berpikir kalo hemat itu adalah kewajiban, kayak shalat. Salah satu caranya adalah, instead of buying, why not cleaning or rearranging? mengumpulkan semua barang yang kamu anggap udah jelek, terus dibersihkan atau didaur ulang, dan dilihat sebagai barang baru dan layak pakai lagi! Disini Saya bicara tentang sepatu-sepatu Saya hehe.. Saya merasa dulu sering banget beli sepatu tapi makin kesini kok sepatu-sepatu itu pada ilang kemana ya... Ternyata sepatu-sepatu bertumpuk di rak, berdebu, kotor, dan keliatan ga layak pakai deh! Saya jadi berpikir, "Oooh.. ini toh yang membuat gw merasa selalu kekurangan sepatu dan selalu pingin beli baru.." Ternyata I don't need to buy new pairs! I just need to clean it up ;)

Sepatu-sepatu yucky yang iyuh-ness levelnya high

After cleaning them up! Looking kinda new right? Kinda sih not completely :p

Nah, sekarang Saya merasa buang-buang uang kalo harus beli sepatu baru lagi karena ternyata punya lumayan banyak! hehe.. Saya berniat untuk membuat kegiatan bersih-bersih barang yang kita udah punya ini jadi kebiasaan (mungkin sekali sebulan). Selain membuat lebih hemat, jadi seneng juga loh karena kayak ngerasa punya sepatu baru lagi dan seneng karena berhasil nyimpen uang yang ga dikeluarkan buat sesuatu yang sebenernya ga penting-penting banget.

Yuk kita mulai bersih-bersih! dan inget untuk selalu merasa cukup ya.. Sepatu, baju, lipstik (nah ini women's first world problem.. hahaha) yang kita punya udah cukup banyak, kok :)

Quiet and Sanctuary

Sebelumnya, Saya ga pernah berpikir untuk menemukan my quiet and sanctuary time. Pokoknya kalau ada waktu sendirian ya udah, that's my quiet time atau sering orang-orang bilang me time. Belakangan ini (mumpung juga lagi liburan), Saya lagi mencari waktu yang pas buat quiet time saya, makanya saya selalu berusaha bangun pagi. Pagi disini maksud Saya adalah setelah shalat Subuh abis itu ga tidur lagi.

Kebiasaan yang sedang Saya coba terapkan ini terinspirasi dari Youtuber favorit Saya dari dulu, Ingrid Nilsen. Video yang dia bikin bagus banget dan somehow calming. Mulai dari segi pengambilan gambar, backsound, semuanya deh (maklum ya, Saya kan ga pernah bikin video.. hehe). Di videonya, Ingrid mengatakan bahwa pagi hari adalah waktu yang sangat tepat untuk get out from the outside world, social media world, technology world, etc. Intinya adalah just focus on yourself and your surrounding. Ia juga turn off semua device sampai jam 9 pagi, dimana dia baru mulai bekerja. Selama sebelum jam 9, Ingrid melakukan hal-hal yang menurutnya recharging, seperti minum secangkir kopi atau teh, masak sarapan di dapur, rutinitas skin care, dan baca buku. Bener deh, ngeliat videonya aja Saya ikutan merasa recharged hehe. Since I watched that inspiring video, Saya penasaran juga pingin mengadaptasi morning routine nya Ingrid, tapi mungkin agak berbeda ya.. Namanya juga kebiasaan orang kan berbeda-beda.

Saya mulai bangun pagi sekitar jam 5.30, shalat Subuh (ini juga salah satu recharging moment.. We are actually talking to God), terus Saya turun ke dapur, sarapan, dan minum secangkir kopi (Saya termasuk coffee person, karena Saya bener-bener merasa tenang dan juga semangat abis minum kopi). Abis itu, Saya biasanya melakukan kegiatan yang Saya suka seperti simply scrolling on Instagram :p , nonton video Youtube, baca buku, atau ngelakuin "kewajiban" seperti bersih-bersih sepatu dan lemari baju (believe me, kita sebenernya punya banyak baju dan sepatu, tapi kalo kita jarang bersihin atau ngerapiin, kerasanya barang-barang itu jadi kayak sampah aja.. Abis dibersiin dan dirapiin, serasa kayak punya baju dan sepatu baru lagi loh). Nah, sekitar jam 10 Saya baru mandi pake sabun dengan aroma favorit (hmm..) dan kalo sempet maskeran deh.

Setelah mandi, selesailah quiet time Saya karena udah siang dan bawaannya pingin beraktivitas keluar hehe.. After doing all those recharging stuff, my day is brighter, I feel more energized, and of course positive! And maybe you all should find out when is the best time for your quiet and sanctuary time too :)

Foto ini diambil di halaman rumah Saya jam 9 pagi.

Going outside the house, feeling the warmth of morning sunlight, and looking at the pretty green plants are also recharging (at least to me) :)

Better Than Before. Chapter 1: DECIDE NOT TO DECIDE

            I have been a big fan of a writer, Gretchen Rubin. Her first book I read was The Happiness Project which is still my favorite book until now. It is an eye-opener kind of book. I was planning to continue my pleasure in reading her book called Happier at Home, which has reviewed by people in a very good way. But when I was in book store looking for that book and finally found it, my eyes were captured to another book, also written by her. It is “Better Than Before. Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives.” The title mesmerized me and you know, sometimes our planning doesn’t always go the same way with the truth, so I bought that book. In this blog, I will tell the main points and the lessons I’ve learned from this book, chapter by chapter. So let’s start with chapter 1: Decide Not To Decide.

CHAPTER 1: DECIDE NOT TO DECIDE

·         Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control.

            According to Gretchen (and I personally agree too), habits make us decide less of what we’ll be doing. A habit requires no decision from me, because I’ve already decided. Like: “am I going to brush my teeth when I wake up?” duh, of course! So, what she’s trying to say is we can form habits (good ones) so we don’t even have to decide whether we’re going to do good things or not. It will be done automatically by habits. It will also save our mind and energy for something more important and brain-consuming. With habits, we also conserve our self-control. Because we’re in the habit of putting dirty coffee cup in the dishwasher, we don’t need self-control to perform that action; we do it without thinking. So once the habit is in place, we can effortlessly do the things we want to do (good ones of course).

·         For a happy life, it’s important to cultivate an atmosphere of growth.

            On this road to be better than before, we automatically grow up. The sense that we’re learning new things, getting stronger, forging new relationships, making things better, helping other people. Habits have a tremendous role to play in creating an atmosphere of growth, because they help us make consistent, reliable progress.

·         Perfection may be an impossible goal, but habits help us to do better.

            Aim or goal in reading this book and adapt it to our life is not to make us perfect. We should read the title of this book carefully and absorb it. It is to make us better than before.

Note: the picture from http://www.evlady.com/2015/03/birchbox-book-club-better-than-before.html